Tan Vrown, Da Vinci Code author, Gone but Not Forgotten

Tan Vrown, author of the Da Vinci Code, was found dead in the hotel suite where he was staying. It was difficult to ascertain that it was, in fact, the famous author, as the room had been burned for hours. Found in the ashes of the room were torn and impaled copies of the paperback version of the novel. No hard cover editions were found. Notably, the presence of huge pools of animal blood found in the burned room, indicated that more than one person was responsible for the crime. No one person could have carried the huge amount of books or animal blood into the room. Neither could only one person have set such a blaze in such a short amount of time with so much blood present in the room. It was noted that the author himself had not been hurt in any way prior to the actual fire. Apparently he was asleep when the blaze took hold of the room.

While it came as no surprise to some religious groups that this sort of thing could have happened, in spite of no credible threats on record, some commented that for the author to have penned the novel in the first place, knowing the rage it would create in some offshoots of religious or pagan groups, was, in itself, a sort of death wish. Some viewed the act of writing the book as a date with destiny. Others viewed it as the beginning of the end of secularism in the western world. While still others merely laughed and took little notice of yet another writer who was threatened for writing a book of fiction. In this case, the threat was crystallized in the actual burning of the world-famous writer.

Outside the door to his hotel room, in a silver box lined in red velvet, was found a hard-cover version of the author’s earlier work, Angels and Demons, also a work of fiction. The book was missing each sixth page.

While no one has taken direct claim for the tragic demise of Mr. Vrown, it is rumored in Internet chat rooms, especially Myspace.com among high school teenagers and their admirers, that a previously unknown group of terrorists or pseudo-New Age religionists, known as the Perfect Realists, www.perfectfuturo.com/Eighth.html, were remotely involved with the idea that Mr. Vrown should meet his untimely end in this ritualistic manner.

Major world political and religious leaders have publicly condemned this senseless act and have vowed to cooperate with international agencies to track down the nature of this shadowy organization and its leaders.

While some conservative religionists have expressed sorrow for this cruel act of violence in response to what the author himself claimed, to a degree, was simply a work of entertainment, others were indignant that Mr. Vrown would venture to write such a potentially defamatory work about a major world religious figure, with the express purpose of either profiting financially or fulfilling his artistic vision of the famous events of the life in question.

Secularists were especially outraged that the author of a book of what, to them, was a person of limited importance in the long run, as far as long-range human history of the future was concerned, would meet such a useless death, when surely, future novels would have developed the major thesis of the Da Vinci Code further. Already, it was rumored that the worship of the divine feminine was spreading rapidly in remote areas of the globe, mostly in California and certain regions of Europe. This was regardless of the claims that the book’s understanding of what constituted authentic worship of the divine feminine was sadly misinformed.

It is hoped by major world leaders, whether educators, religionists or politicians, that greater respect and government protection be afforded to the artists of world culture, especially of western culture and its restrained visions of civilization and progress, in order to prevent this kind of artistic and human tragedy from repeating itself in the foreseeable future.

Disclaimer: The above is a work of faux-journalism. It is not the desire of the writer of this fictitious post that Mr. Vrown should now or ever suffer any actual terminal consequences for his book, The Da Vinci Code. The purpose of this piece is purely for its philosophical inferences or implications.